Scrubs2001

Carla:
[J.D. tells Carla, Elliot, and Turk that Kim is pregnant] I'm sorry J.D. but you knew this could happen when you had sex.

Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian:
I have to tell you guys something but you have to promise not to laugh. Ok?

[Carla, Elliot, and Turk agree]

Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian:
Ok, on the night of said conception, ah, Kim and I nude-ed up, and um, the dirty talk began and I got a little over excited.

Dr. Christopher Turk:
Oooh, She like a the dirty talk!

Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian:
No, I do. I find it gets the ladies going. But I occasionally get wrapped up in it myself, especially when I use some of my different voices.

Dr. Elliot Reid:
He does.

Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian:
Anywho, there was some unexpected friendly-fire, and uh, even though I never got a chance to enter the, the village, ah, there was an air strike on one of the outlying regions.

Dr. Christopher Turk:
[Turk yells excitedly and Carla pulls his ear to stop him] Thank you.

Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian:
Anyway, I talked to the gals in O.B.G and they said it's not uncommon for a woman to get pregnant even if there was no actual penetration.

Dr. Christopher Turk:
What your trying to tell us is that you never actually had sex with her?

Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian:
[after a brief pause] I didn't have a condom.

[Muffled giggles from Turk, Carla, and Elliot]

Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian:
And ah, we decided not to have sex because, here's the kicker, I didn't want to get her pregnant.

[Carla, Elliot, and Turk break out in hysterical laughing]