Seinfeld1989

[first lines]

Jerry Seinfeld:
[trying to catch a cab] Who was the last president to have a beard?

George Costanza:
Nixon.

Jerry Seinfeld:
No, I mean a ral thick beard.

George Costanza:
His was thick.

Jerry Seinfeld:
No, I mean like a full long beard like Smith Brothers Cough Drops.

George Costanza:
Falkmore.

Jerry Seinfeld:
Who?

George Costanza:
Artemis N. Falkmore.

Jerry Seinfeld:
You made that up, right?

George Costanza:
Yeah. But it sounds like a president name, doesn't it?

Jerry Seinfeld:
Yeah. Why do presidents all have these bad names? Woodrow, Grover, Millard

George Costanza:
The presidency attracts the badly named. Their ambition is based on personal insecurity. It's a classic male overcompensation.

Jerry Seinfeld:
Are you wearing lifts in those shoes?

George Costanza:
[nervously looks around and walks away] Cab!