Sherlock2010

[Sherlock commences the Best Man's speech at John's wedding]

Sherlock Holmes:
Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, and... um... others. [He stammers uncertainly]... Also...

Dr. John Watson:
Telegrams...

Sherlock Holmes:
Right. Um... First things first: Telegrams. Although they're not actually telegrams, we just call them telegrams, I don't know why. Wedding tradition... Because we don't have enough of that already, apparently... [reading] "To Mr. and Mrs. Watson: So sorry I'm unable to be with you on your special day. Good luck and best wishes. Mike Stamford."

Dr. John Watson:
Ah, Mike...

Sherlock Holmes:
"To John and Mary: All good wishes for your special day with love and many big..." [chokes the cloying words out] "... big squishy cuddles. From Stella and Ted." [next telegram] "Mary: Lots of love..."

Dr. John Watson:
Yeah?

Sherlock Holmes:
[with precise diction] "... poppet." [John and Mary giggle] "Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes, from Cam. Wish your family could have seen this."

[Mary's expression darkens momentarily]

Sherlock Holmes:
[shuffling rapidly through remaining telegrams] Um, "Special day," "Very special day," "Love," "Love," "Love," "Love," "Love," bit of a theme, you get the general gist. People basically fond.