That '70s Show1998

[Hyde, Jackie and Fez are listening to Kelso]

Michael Kelso:
Okay, Jackie. There are some things I haven't been honest about that I feel like you should know.

Jackie Burkhart:
[nods] Okay.

[Jackie looks at Hyde and Fez]

Jackie Burkhart:
Why are they here?

Michael Kelso:
Well, Hyde helpfully pointed out that it's not really honesty unless your friends are allowed to watch.

[Hyde smiles]

Michael Kelso:
So, anyway, I made a list.

Steven Hyde:
[to Jackie] The list was my idea.

Michael Kelso:
Thank you for that, Hyde. Okay, so let's just get started. Um, that picture you saw of me in kindergarten? Those weren't puffy pants. It was a big boy diaper.

[Hyde and Fez chuckle. Some time later:
]

Michael Kelso:
...and that time you came out of the shower, and you thought you saw a flash? I did take your picture. This one time you asked me if you had anything in your teeth? And you did, but I said no, 'cause it's funnier that way.

[Hyde is enjoying. Jackie's expression becomes more and more sour. Some time later:
]

Michael Kelso:
...when we were about to fool around, and I said that I washed my hands? But really I just got done playing with like six dogs.

[Jackie looks at Hyde, who barely suppresses his laughter. Fez looks disgusted]

Michael Kelso:
But that's not as bad...

Jackie Burkhart:
[sharply] All right, Michael, stop! Okay, Michael, I think we need to work on selective honesty.

Fez:
[disgusted] Yes, that and basic hygiene. Seriously, good God, man.

[Fez leaves]

Jackie Burkhart:
Okay, Michael, unless one of your secrets involves kissing a girl, I don't need to know about it.

[Jackie walks to the door]

Michael Kelso:
Okay. All right.

Michael Kelso:
[to Hyde] Oh, science fact. Dogs are cleaner than humans.

[Kelso and Jackie leave]