The Abbott and Costello Show1952

Sid Fields:
No dessert.

Lou Costello:
Oh, yes, we're going to have dessert. Apple pie.

Sid Fields:
But no ice cream, huh?

Lou Costello:
We're gonna have ice cream. I'm going to put it on apple pie.

Sid Fields:
What flavor?

Lou Costello:
Vanilla.

Sid Fields:
Vanilla. Plain vanilla or anything particular?

Lou Costello:
How about strawberry? I'll put strawberry on it.

Sid Fields:
Oh, strawberry?

Lou Costello:
Yeah.

Sid Fields:
Will it be real fruit or artificial flavor?

Lou Costello:
This is going to be genuine strawberry.

Sid Fields:
So, that's it! You know, my wife is allergic to fresh strawberries. Every time she eats them, she starts scratching herself, scratching herself. Infection sets in. She's sick! Ambulances take her to the hospital! The doctors work on her day and night, day and night, but they can't save her! She's gone! I'm left alone, a widower with 11 children!

Lou Costello:
Mr. Fields, I don't want you to be a widower.

Sid Fields:
You don't want me to be a widower? You want me to live the rest of my life with that old bag, huh? You don't want me to go out with the boys and have fun, huh? And why? All because you ruined my life because you wanted to feed my wife fresh strawberry ice cream!

Lou Costello:
Mr. Fields, your wife don't have to eat any ice cream.

Sid Fields:
You said it! Nobody's going to push fresh strawberry ice cream down *my* wife's throat. That's what I'm here for!