The Angry Video Game Nerd2006

The Angry Video Game Nerd:
All the weapons have the same range: they just fly about ten miles away! There's no straight attack! How about give me a crossbow or something? No. You know what you're using? You know what this weapon is? It's a textbook! A f***ing textbook that explodes! By the way, this won't change history at all. Let's go around, blowing people up. Let's kill some ancestors. That's real great. As long as it doesn't affect the Wyld Stallyns' concert! When they come back to the present, it's going to be some kind of Planet of the Apes sh*t. They're going to be playing to an audience full of intelligent sloths!