The Big Bang Theory2007

[first lines]

Leonard Hofstadter:
I don't know why I avoided the Harry Potter books for so long; these are great. Just started number six.

Sheldon Cooper:
That's a good one. Dumbledore dies in that one. [Leonard stares at him, dumbfounded] Yeah, I know; I didn't see it coming either.

Leonard Hofstadter:
Why would you say that?

Sheldon Cooper:
You brought up the subject; I contributed an interesting fact on that subject. It's called the art of conversation. 'Kay, your turn.

Leonard Hofstadter:
That was a huge spoiler. [throws the book aside]

Sheldon Cooper:
Good.

Leonard Hofstadter:
What is wrong with you? If I did that you'd b*tch about it for weeks.

Sheldon Cooper:
Really, Leonard, are you going to have another one of your hissy fits?

Leonard Hofstadter:
Hissy fit? *I* have hissy fits?

Sheldon Cooper:
Yes, and I have a theory why. Because of your lactose intolerance, you switched over to soy milk. Soy contains estrogen-mimicking compounds. I think your morning Cocoa Puffs are turning you into a hysterical woman.

Leonard Hofstadter:
You are unbelievable! I don't know why I put up with you. You know, you're controlling, you're irritating...

Sheldon Cooper:
There you go again! Nag, nag, nag! You're only proving my point, little lady.

Leonard Hofstadter:
You know what? Screw you, Sheldon! You are the most annoying person I ever met.

Sheldon Cooper:
Wha- I'm annoying? You criticize my behavior all the time. "Sheldon, don't talk about your bowel movements over breakfast." "Sheldon, when the president of the university is giving a eulogy at a funeral, don't yawn and point at your watch." "Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts cause you think they're ugly." You're impossible.

Leonard Hofstadter:
That's it. I don't. I don't have to put up with this.

Sheldon Cooper:
Actually, I have your signature on a roommate agreement that says you do.

Leonard Hofstadter:
Aaaw, here's what I think of your roommate agreement! [he throws it in the waste-paper basket]

Sheldon Cooper:
[Sheldon gasps] You pick that up right now.

Leonard Hofstadter:
No.

Sheldon Cooper:
You- Roommate agreement, section twenty-seven, paragraph five: "The roommate agreement, like the American flag, cannot touch the ground."

Leonard Hofstadter:
I don't care. I don't have to do anything you say because... I don't think I want to live here any more.

Sheldon Cooper:
Where are you going?

Leonard Hofstadter:
To live with Penny, and not you, you crazy bastard.