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[first lines]Leonard Hofstadter: I don't know why I avoided the Harry Potter books for so long; these are great. Just started number six.Sheldon Cooper: That's a good one. Dumbledore dies in that one. [Leonard stares at him, dumbfounded] Yeah, I know; I didn't see it coming either.Leonard Hofstadter: Why would you say that?Sheldon Cooper: You brought up the subject; I contributed an interesting fact on that subject. It's called the art of conversation. 'Kay, your turn.Leonard Hofstadter: That was a huge spoiler. [throws the book aside]Sheldon Cooper: Good.Leonard Hofstadter: What is wrong with you? If I did that you'd bitch about it for weeks.Sheldon Cooper: Really, Leonard, are you going to have another one of your hissy fits?Leonard Hofstadter: Hissy fit? *I* have hissy fits?Sheldon Cooper: Yes, and I have a theory why. Because of your lactose intolerance, you switched over to soy milk. Soy contains estrogen-mimicking compounds. I think your morning Cocoa Puffs are turning you into a hysterical woman.Leonard Hofstadter: You are unbelievable! I don't know why I put up with you. You know, you're controlling, you're irritating...Sheldon Cooper: There you go again! Nag, nag, nag! You're only proving my point, little lady.Leonard Hofstadter: You know what? Screw you, Sheldon! You are the most annoying person I ever met.Sheldon Cooper: Wha- I'm annoying? You criticize my behavior all the time. "Sheldon, don't talk about your bowel movements over breakfast." "Sheldon, when the president of the university is giving a eulogy at a funeral, don't yawn and point at your watch." "Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts cause you think they're ugly." You're impossible.Leonard Hofstadter: That's it. I don't. I don't have to put up with this.Sheldon Cooper: Actually, I have your signature on a roommate agreement that says you do.Leonard Hofstadter: Aaaw, here's what I think of your roommate agreement! [he throws it in the waste-paper basket]Sheldon Cooper: [Sheldon gasps] You pick that up right now.Leonard Hofstadter: No.Sheldon Cooper: You- Roommate agreement, section twenty-seven, paragraph five: "The roommate agreement, like the American flag, cannot touch the ground."Leonard Hofstadter: I don't care. I don't have to do anything you say because... I don't think I want to live here any more.Sheldon Cooper: Where are you going?Leonard Hofstadter: To live with Penny, and not you, you crazy bastard.

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