The Critic1994

Duke Phillips:
I'm Duke Phillips, and from now on I'm speaking my own mind. First, I'll tell you what I'm really going to do as president. I'll run this country like I run my company. I'm going raid the pension fund, dump chemicals in the oceans, and sell our best assets to the Japanese.

Ronald Reagan:
Ooh! Looks like Reaganomics is making a comeback.

Duke Phillips:
Half of you states are in the toilet, and you're not coming out! New York, you know what I'm talking about. California, kiss your smoggy butt goodbye! New England, you're going back to Old England.

Queen Elizabeth:
Oh, I don't want that.

Prince Charles:
More poison? I mean, tea?

Queen Elizabeth:
Ah, don't mind if I do. You almost had me there.

[She hits him over the head with her scepter, knocking him unconscious]

Duke Phillips:
Well, that's my speech, now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put on some leather and go get spanked. Vote for Duke. Good night.