The Inbetweeners2008

Jay:
Oi, Neil, did you hear about Chris from the paper shop?

Neil:
No, what?

Jay:
He was messing about up The Rec. Got his head wedged in the bottle bank. Got stuck there all night. By the time someone found him in the mornin', he'd been arse-raped 18 times.

Neil:
Ohhhh mate... that's grim...

Will:
I have a few questions...

Jay:
Like what?

Will:
Well, one- why was he sticking his head in the bottle bank?

Jay:
Looking for bottles, you mug.

Will:
Okay... Number two- what you're saying is the first eighteen people to have discovered him in this state just happened to be opportunistic homosexual rapists?

Jay:
Looks like it... Here, Where was your Dad last night, Neil?

Neil:
Badminton, Why?

Jay:
[Sarcastically] Course He was.

Will:
And Number three - Why would he would tell what, at best, was a humiliating evening, tell you, of all people, about it?

Jay:
I used to sit next to him in Woodwork!