The Joe Schmo Show2003

Ralph Garman:
Someone in this room is not who they say they are. So before we go any further, does anyone have anything they'd like to say?

[long dramatic pause]

Steve 'The Hutch' Hutchinson:
All right. All right, all right, all right, all right. My name's not "The Hutch." My name is... David Hornsby. And I'm an actor. I live in Los Angeles.

Ralph Garman:
Are you kidding me? You have ruined this whole show!

David Hornsby:
Well, don't blame me. Ask HIM.

Carlos 'Kip' Calderas:
Ask me WHAT?

David Hornsby:
What about him?

Carlos 'Kip' Calderas:
Wh... I don't know what you're taking about. Please.

[Kip loses his phony accent]

Lance Krall:
All right, I'm... I'm an actor, too. And, uh... I wasn't honest about it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But you know what? It's not just me and him. You know, everyone else here is, you know... Come on, guys, raise your hand if you're an actor as well. Please. I mean, come on. Let's be honest about this.

[everyone except Matt raises their hands]

Matt Kennedy Gould:
[stupified] What...

Brian Keith Etheridge:
Matt, every...

[Matt laughs insanely]

Matt Kennedy Gould:
What is going on?! WHAT is GOING ON?!

[William, Molly's Boyfriend and David Decker enter the room and raise their hands, too]