The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis1959

Dobie Gillis:
[Dobie bemoans his situation, suffering through science class, turns to his table mate] And as for you, you don't make things any easier, you know? A whole month I've been sitting here next to you and I haven't heard one word out of you, not one single word, not even "hello." You just sit there doing everything right and giving me a big freeze. For Pete's sake, speak to me. Say something! Say anything!

Zelda Gilroy:
I love you.

Dobie Gillis:
[Stunned] I beg your pardon?

Zelda Gilroy:
That's right. I love you.

Dobie Gillis:
Zelda, I am, of course, flattered...

Zelda Gilroy:
Now, don't get a swelled head. You're nothing so special. You're dumb as a post, you're pigeon-toed and you'll be bald before you're 30.

Dobie Gillis:
Is that so? Well, I don't want to be unkind, but you're not exactly a traffic-stopper yourself.

Zelda Gilroy:
Yeah, we're a couple of dogs all right. But still, we're not too repulsive. Anyway, what's the difference? We're victims of propinquity.

Dobie Gillis:
What's that?

Zelda Gilroy:
Propinquity: nearness, closeness. Sigafoos and Wembling of Harvard, in a study of 2,900 married couples, proved that in 87% of the cases the couples first fell in love because of propinquity. You put a boy and a girl close to each other for long enough and it's bound to happen. It's a scientific fact.

Dobie Gillis:
No offense, Zelda, but I don't love you.

Zelda Gilroy:
You will. You're Gillis and I'm Gilroy. Don't forget they seat students alphabetically in science classes. You'll be sitting next to me all year long, and next year, too. And then when we go on to to medical school: eight more years of propinquity. Don't fight it, Dobie. You can't beat science.

Dobie Gillis:
I can try, Zelda. I can try.

Zelda Gilroy:
Fool. [goes back to lab work]