The Muppet Show1976

Ernie:
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Gee, it's really great to be here. Right, Bert?

Bert:
Ah, I guess so.

Ernie:
Oh, what's wrong, Bert?

Bert:
Well, I mean, I feel funny being here, this is a big TV variety show, you know?

Ernie:
So?

Bert:
I'm no performer.

Ernie:
Oh, Bert. A suave, sophisticated showman like you, Bert?

Bert:
Oh, sure, sure. I know you. You're gonna keep on saying I'm suave and sophisticated, and then when I start to believe it, then you're gonna say how pointy head I have, and how floppy arms I have, and how dull I am, I know you.

Ernie:
Bert, you must admit, though, Bert, that the head up there is a little bit pointy, Bert. And you must admit that the arms are a little bit floppy and soggy, Bert. And Bert?

[pulls off Bert's nose]

Ernie:
The nose is still loose Bert.

Bert:
Cut that out!

Ernie:
Oh, I'm sorry, Bert, here. There you go, Bert.

[puts Bert's nose back on his face]

Bert:
See what I mean? I mean that old loose-nose joke is funny on Sesame Street, but this is big-time, Ernie. I mean they're expecting an act or something.

Ernie:
Hey, Bert, wait a minute. You can do an act. All you need are the clothes Bert. Come over here, Bert! Step right here, Bert!

[Ernie dresses Bert up in a tuxedo]