The Norm Show1999

Max Denby:
Norm! What is your dog doing at work?

Norm Henderson:
Sir, remember when you, ah, told us to keep an eye out for Level I Clarical Assistant?

Max Denby:
Do-do, don't tell me you hired Wiener Dog.

Norm Henderson:
Well, you know, sir, technically you did when you signed this authorization form. Remember? You encouraged us to find somebody with a disability.

Max Denby:
[reads the piece of paper] Applicant has no thumbs, three-inch legs, and speaks absolutely no English. This, this, this, this is atrocious; he's fired, he's fi - get rid of him! Get rid of him now!

Norm Henderson:
Come on, sir, you can't fire Wiener Dog, there. He's a good man.

Max Denby:
Why? Watch me.

Laurie Freeman:
Well, sir, actually sir, as crazy as it sounds, you really can't fire him; if you terminate a worker with no notice, the union automatically files a grievance.

Max Denby:
I-I-I, I can't fire a dog?

Danny Sanchez:
This is great! If we hire a new drug counselor, can I get my hermit crab?

Taylor Clayton:
I have a gold fish I've been trying to get in the government for years. [Danny laughs]

Max Denby:
STOP! STOP all of you!

Laurie Freeman:
Well, I'm afraid it says right here, sir [pointing to a place in a union handbook] before you fire anyone, you have to state the specific problem and then give them two weeks to improve their performance.

Max Denby:
[faces Wiener Dog] Hello, Wiener Dog, I, ah, am sorry to say that I'm unhappy with your job performance; you got two weeks to improve your typing skills and learn to talk!