The Nostalgia Critic2007

Nostalgia Critic:
[Ralphie is in band class behind Drusilla who is playing the flute] Meanwhile Ralphie fetishises more in school about his millennial girlfriend and just tell me he doesn't up the creepiness in this scene.

Narrator:
For forty-five minutes twice a week Drusilla and I could be together. Close enough to smell her lavender-scented shampoo. [Ralphie smells the back of Drusilla's head and starts banging louder on the cymbals]

Nostalgia Critic:
Oh, yeah. That's definitely going up on the counter. [a number 2 appears on the Perverted Ralphie Counter]

Narrator:
[as Ralphie continues to bang overenthusiastically on the cymbals] Someday my beauty, there'll be a veil upon that hair... and I'll lift it so our lips can meet as they pronounce us man and wife. [Ralphie gets even more carried away. Drusilla looks annoyed. Flick finally puts a hand on Ralphie's shoulder and he stops abruptly. Everyone looks at Ralphie]

Nostalgia Critic:
Jesus Christ, kid! Put a few more up there. [Three more numbers pop up on the Perverted Ralphie Counter. Total is now up to 5] That was really f***ed up.

Music Teacher:
A little less holiday spirit, Mr. Parker.

Nostalgia Critic:
[Imitates Music Teacher] And change your pants!

Music Teacher:
From the top people. [Band begins playing again]

Nostalgia Critic:
[Imitates Drusilla] Hmmm... You know I wonder what was poking me in the back of my head... Oh, my god!