The Nostalgia Critic2007

Nostalgia Critic:
Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. We all liked Michael Jackson at some point, didn't we? But that doesn't mean he can just throw any crap on the screen and expect us to buy it! That's why I have some serious hang-ups with "Moonwalker". [clips are shown not of "Moonwalker" but of "The Pagemaster" instead] One of the strangest and most bizarre... um, this isn't "Moonwalker". So, what the hell were up with those clips? [he looks offscreen as though someone were whispering to him] Huh? "Pagemaster"? I never watched any "Pagemaster". I did? Well, what was it about? Oh! Oh, yeah, the... the "Home Alone" kid, the... reading adventure, yeah. Okay. Um... "Pagemaster"! Yeah, what a... what a memorable movie that was! [laughs, then pauses briefly] Okay, by that total lack of memory, you can probably tell this movie didn't exactly leave much of an impact. And why should it? It's boring! Nothing's developed, nothing's structured, nothing's... anything! It's pretty much just a film fart: it happens, it's unpleasant, but you forget about it just a few moments later. It was a strange attempt to try and get children to read more; a noble cause, but a botched-up delivery. So, let's take a look at why "The Pagemaster" is not only dull, but why it's... REALLY dull.