The Office2005

Dwight Schrute:
[answering phone] Dunder Mifflin. Dwight Schrute. Please hold.

[he transfers the phone, and begins looking around in a file on his desk, then resumes his conversation]

Dwight Schrute:
Schrute Farms, Guten Tag! How can I help you? Yes, we have availability on those nights. How many in your party? Oh, no. I'm sorry. No king beds. No queen either. Well, we make our own mattresses that don't conform to the traditional sizes.

[Jim, who has been staring confusedly at Dwight this whole time, hangs up his own phone]

Dwight Schrute:
Closest would be twin. Thank you so much for calling. Call back again. Auf Wiedersehen.

[hangs up]

Jim Halpert:
Hey, Dwight.

Dwight Schrute:
None of your business, Jim.

Jim Halpert:
You running a bed and breakfast?

Dwight Schrute:
It is not a B&B.

Dwight Schrute:
[later, to the camera] Agrotourism is a lot more than a bed and breakfast. It consists of tourists coming to a farm, showing them around, giving them a bed, giving them breakfast.

Jim Halpert:
Does the Department of Health know about this?

Dwight Schrute:
I am not telling you anything.

[to the camera]

Dwight Schrute:
Permits are pending.

[his phone rings]

Dwight Schrute:
Dwight Schrute, Dunder Mifflin.

Pam Beesly:
Hello. I'm looking for a room.

Dwight Schrute:
Okay. This is a misuse of company phones.

Pam Beesly:
It says here you cater to the elderly.

Dwight Schrute:
Where did you read that?

Pam Beesly:
Trip Advisor.

Dwight Schrute:
[to camera] Trip Advisor is the lifeblood of the agrotourism industry. A couple of bad reviews there, you may as well close up shop. That's what took down the Stalk Inn, one of the cutest little asparagus farms you'll ever see.