The Sopranos1999

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
That Departures magazine out there. Did you give any thought at all to someone else who might wanna read before you tore out the entire page?

Tony Soprano:
What?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
It's not the first time you've defaced my reading materials.

Tony Soprano:
You saw that, huh? People tear sh*t outta your magazines all the time, they're a mess. I try to read 'em.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
I don't think I can help you.

Tony Soprano:
Well, change 'em. Bring in some new sh*t.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
I mean therapeutically.

Tony Soprano:
What are you talkin' about? I've only missed three appointments since we had that heart-to-heart.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
The new big thing these days is called psychodynamic therapy combined with Anafranil.

Tony Soprano:
Who?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
A medication. There's a doctor in Bloomfield you could see.

Tony Soprano:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, OK? Now what the f*** is this? You're, uh, firin' me 'cause I defaced your Departures magazine.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
I'm giving you my considered medical opinion.

Tony Soprano:
OK, I should've asked you for the steak recipe. And missin' sessions, unfortunately, is part of my condition.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
What do you know about your condition? You miss appointments because you don't give a sh*t. About commitments, about what I do, about the body of work that's gone into building up this science!... Go ahead, tell me again I sound like your wife.

Tony Soprano:
Well, if the shoe fits. [Dr. Melfi stands up] We're making progress! It's been seven years!

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
Do you want some names?

Tony Soprano:
[stands up] OK, listen, I'm gonna tell you somethin' and you're not gonna like it. But we can say anything in here, right?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
Go ahead!

Tony Soprano:
I'm chalkin' this all up to female menopausal situations.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
You're not my gynecologist.

Tony Soprano:
Well, you don't need a gynecologist to know which way the wind blows. [Dr. Melfi opens the door] So, wait a minute. You tellin' me after all this time, after everything we've shared in here, you're cuttin' me loose just as my son got outta the hospital for tryin' to kill himself?

Dr. Jennifer Melfi:
Since you are in crisis, I don't wanna waste your time.

Tony Soprano:
You know, I gotta be f***in' honest. As a doctor, I think what you're doin' is immoral.

[Tony walks out to the waiting room. He exaggeratedly places the page back in the magazine, looks at Dr. Melfi angrily and leaves. She closes the door]