The Thick of It2005

Malcolm Tucker:
I'm hacked off, mate.

Hugh Abbot:
But we killed it, it's killed.

Malcolm Tucker:
Yeah, "but once you start the fire, Malc, and we didn't start the fire, it's always burning since the world's been turning" et cetera, et cetera...

Hugh Abbot:
So... Malcolm, you're not making any sence.

Malcolm Tucker:
Prime Minister, obviously, he's on the plane in Stokholm, someone hits him with The World At One. He thinks it's the Treasury trying to stiff him one so he... he stuck with the story.

Hugh Abbot:
He liked it?

Malcolm Tucker:
Yeah, he's backing the Snooper Force.

Hugh Abbot:
Oh, right! We shouldn't really then... You shouldn't really have told us to... Should you?

Malcolm Tucker:
Don't should me, Hugh, 'cause I'll should you right back. I'll should you right through that window! None of this should be happening, should it? Should it?

Hugh Abbot:
Is that "should" in a sence of "yes"?

Malcolm Tucker:
It's "should" in a sence "you should do as you're f***ing told"!

Hugh Abbot:
So what are we gonna do now?

Malcolm Tucker:
You're gonna completely reverse your position.

Hugh Abbot:
Hang on a second... Malcolm... That's not gonna be easy. That's gonna be quite hard.

Malcolm Tucker:
Well, the announcement you didn't make today - you did.

Hugh Abbot:
No, I didn't. And there were television cameras there while I was not doing it.

Malcolm Tucker:
F*** them.

Hugh Abbot:
I'm not sure what level of reality I'm supposed to be operating on.

Malcolm Tucker:
Look, this is what they run with. I tell them that you said it, they believe that you said it. They don't REALLY believe that you said it, they know that you never said it, but it's in their interest to say that you said it, because if they don't say that you said it, they're not gonna get what you say tomorrow or the next day, when I decide to tell them what it is you're saying.

Hugh Abbot:
Yeah, I am following this, I just...

Malcolm Tucker:
I had a friend who used to indulge in extra-marital affairs, ok? He'd go off and he'd have some dalliance and every Monday he'd come back and he'd meet his wife. And he told me that all he did that is inside his head turn a little switch - the affair never happened, ok?