The Thick of It2005

Malcolm Tucker:
Little pigs... Little pigs. Let me come in. Don't worry about the hair on the chiny-chin-chin.

Nicola Murray:
So, what was your call?

Malcolm Tucker:
What was my call? You want to know what my call was?

Nicola Murray:
Was it important?

Malcolm Tucker:
I'm sorry, I didn't realise that I had to run all my calls through your bed-wetters switchboard here. I usually just dial 118.

Nicola Murray:
Malcolm, do you know?

Oliver Reeder:
Obviously he knows.

Glenn Cullen:
No, he doesn't know...

Nicola Murray:
There has been a massive irretrievable data loss. The last 7 months worth of new immigrant details have gone, apparently lost in the computer.

Malcolm Tucker:
Oh... [laughs] Do you know what's really f***ing sad here is that I don't have the energy to pretend I already knew. Which is for the best, because I'm gonna need all of my f***ing energy to f***ing rip all of your bodies to bits with my bare hands and sell off, yes, sell off your f***ing flayed skin as a sleeping bag to a f***ing normal person!

Nicola Murray:
Can I just say that getting angry isn't gonna help anything. I've done anger, I'm currently at grief, I'm working my way towards bargaining, whatever, you know, you're behind me...

Malcolm Tucker:
So, what is your great strategy for dealing with this? Come on, I'm f***ing all ears. I'm f***ing Andrew Marr here.

Nicola Murray:
So let's... Terri, let's hear what you...

Malcolm Tucker:
Let's go, let's get going. High-level technical discussion, I'm up for it.

Terri Coverley:
Right. Blaming the departmenet, minister, might be a high-risk strategy.

Malcolm Tucker:
Oh, high-risk. Saucy. Pass F.

Nicola Murray:
My pitch would be - this departement is fatally flawed. It's out of condition, it's obese, it's astmatic.

Malcolm Tucker:
That's it girl, back over the net.

Glenn Cullen:
You need to be really sure about that, Nicola.

Malcolm Tucker:
Yes, wise words from the distinguished elderly gay f***ing tennis coach here.

Oliver Reeder:
Seriously, I think we should talk about my strategy futher because I really think that's the way...

Malcolm Tucker:
Yeah, the f***ing wee boy is having a go now with his f***ing tiny shorts on. [to Robyn] What about Sue Barker's little sister here? What's she got to say? You've got something to say to add to the conversation?

Robyn Murdoch:
No, just that there was no Lemon zinger so uhm... This is coffee, is that alright?