The Thick of It2005

Malcolm Tucker:
[responding to Terri's accusations of being wrong] How f***ing dare you? Have you any idea of the amount of pressure that has been exerted on my skull, huh? It feels like my brain has been f***ing emptied into little packets, into f***ing crisp packets. Cheese and onion f***ing crisp packets that contain my living, breathing f***ing brain.

Terri Coverley:
Malcolm, I'm really sorry. I...

Malcolm Tucker:
And these crisp packets, cheese and onion, smoky bacon, have been stomped on. They've been f***ing stomped on! Ben, f***ing Nicola...

Terri Coverley:
I didn't mean to be horrid.

Malcolm Tucker:
And f***ing you!

Terri Coverley:
I'm sorry.

Malcolm Tucker:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Terri Coverley:
I'm sorry.

Malcolm Tucker:
No, I'm over it, okay? Don't you apologise. Don't you f***ing apologise. You don't need to apologise. I love this place. I do. I mean, f***ing, compared to Number 10, this place is f***ing tranquil, yeah? Over there, 300 yards down the road, I mean, it's like a f***ing cancer ward. I mean, there are people in there, they're f***ing screaming at each other. They are screaming, "You gave me this f***ing disease." "You gave me this f***ing disease." And every corner that I turn there's another threat, Terri. Hacks, hacks, f***ing vampire hacks. And they're slaughtering us, Terri. They are f***ing slaughtering us and they want my face for a flannel! And you know what? I used to be the f***ing pharaoh, Terri. I used to be the f***ing pharaoh. Now I'm f***ing floundering in a f***ing Nile of sh*t. But I am going to fashion a paddle out of that sh*t. Yeah?

Terri Coverley:
Good idea.

Malcolm Tucker:
I'm not going down. I am not going down. Yeah?

Terri Coverley:
Yeah.

Malcolm Tucker:
How are you feeling about things?

Terri Coverley:
Well, you know, I'm just trying to do my best and, you know, make sure I can still get home by 6:00. Do you want a huggle?

Malcolm Tucker:
No, I think... That's nice of you. I really appreciate it. Terri, it's been nice to have a chat but I have to get on. Let's get back on track.

Oliver Reeder:
[after Tukcer leaves] What did he say?

Terri Coverley:
I don't know. It was all about ancient Egypt.