The Thick of It2005

Jamie:
It's show time! Can Teflon Tucker save the Nutters or will Dan Miller rip his sculp off and use it as an oven glove?

Nick Hanway:
[Ben and Nick coming down the stairs] Guys! Is he here? Dan's not arrived yet, is he?

Malcolm Tucker:
Laurel and f***ing Hardy! Glad you could join us. Did you manage to get that piano up the stairs ok, yeah?

Jamie:
Oh, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for The Right Honourable Dan Miller, MP!

Dan Miller:
Oh, the reception committee. What a turn out. And they say no one is interested in politics. Malcolm.

Malcolm Tucker:
Dan.

Dan Miller:
Nick.

Nick Hanway:
Dan.

Dan Miller:
Ben.

Ben Swain:
Dan.

Dan Miller:
Jamie.

Jamie:
God, enough with the pleasensies here, let's just oil up and get f***ing, yeah?

Malcolm Tucker:
I'm looking forward to today.

Dan Miller:
Today should be very interesting.

Malcolm Tucker:
I just wonder what are you actually gonna be saying on Today.

Dan Miller:
On the Today program? Well I'll be saying that I'll be fully endorsing Tom. Tom's my guy and he always has been.

Nick Hanway:
Really? Is that it? No buts, no elephant traps?

Dan Miller:
No, no. Tom and I came to an arrangement about an hour or so ago.

Malcolm Tucker:
Well, my work here is done.

Nick Hanway:
Why wasn't I told?

Jamie:
[Jamie does a flying movement with his hand, complete with whistling. Nick looks at him in puzzlement] It's the sound of you flying out of the loop head first into a huge mound of shite.

Nick Hanway:
So this whole evening has just been a waste of time. [Jamie does the flying thing again] Yeah, yeah, I got it, got it.

Dan Miller:
Yes, yes, that's pretty much it. That's why I went home, had a good night's sleep. Oh, by the way, Malcolm, Tom said to liaise with you on the press and...

Malcolm Tucker:
Yes, yes, offfcourse, yeah... [Tucker recieves a message on his beeper] Oh, God. Oh, I've been summoned to the breakfast meeting, to talk to Tom about this morning, some details about Claire Ballentine maybe, Geoff Holhurst, young Benjamin here.

Nick Hanway:
F*** you very much, you unscrupulous bastard.