The Thick of It2005

Ben Swain:
Have you tracked Dan Miller?

Malcolm Tucker:
No, he's nowhere, man, he's f***ing nowhere. The good news, however, is that the Tom wobble is over. That's great, isn't it?

Ben Swain:
Yeah! So, he's not wobbling, he's... What does it mean?

Malcolm Tucker:
Well it means that all the rats are now returning to a very buoyant ship and a plain deck, so that's lovely, isn't it?

Ben Swain:
What does it mean for me?

Malcolm Tucker:
I guess that means that you are standing in a chamber in the House of Commons with your big flaccid dick hanging out, with a "vote for me" sticking on the end.

Ben Swain:
But you said I had a chance! Half an hour ago you said I was in with a shot!

Malcolm Tucker:
Don't f***ing get... Look, half an hour ago you were in with a shot! This is half an hour hence! We've f***ing time-travelled, yes? We're in a weird and wonderful world where everything is different! Maybe outside the polar ice caps have melted! Maybe there's f***ing robots knocking about and Davina Maccoll is the new Pope! Maybe you can download rice! I want you, right now, to think about your own future, ok? Think about what you are doing, get yourself back on the train to f***ing Thomasville pronto, yeah? "Half an hour"...