The Thick of It2005

Malcolm Tucker:
[to Ben] I want you to announce a policy for me. And I want you take the full credit and be the face of it.

Ben Swain:
This is an overture, then, Malcolm. You coming round to the Nutter way of thinking? You bailing out on the PM?

Malcolm Tucker:
No, no, offcourse not.

Ben Swain:
What's your policy? What's your idea?

Malcolm Tucker:
Taking immigration out of political control.

Oliver Reeder:
Hang on, you're giving it to him now, are you?

Malcolm Tucker:
I'm gonna bang you on Newsnight, right? And you are gonna fly this time, my friend. You are gonna light up the sky! Where's your phone? Give us your phone.

Ben Swain:
I'm not... Newsnight? How are we gonna pay for it? They'll ask me that, how're we gonna pay for this?

Malcolm Tucker:
Ollie, where's the money coming from?

Oliver Reeder:
We can just cancel something that's already on the slate, maybe?

Ben Swain:
Brilliant, I'll say that, that'll be great, thank you, Carole Vorderman.

Oliver Reeder:
Well, why don't we say that we're wrapping up the citizenship program with this. I mean, it won't end up, but then they'll find it very hard to prove because we never actually said how much citizenship costs in the first place.

Malcolm Tucker:
That'll do. Ok. This. Is. It. This is it!

Ben Swain:
No, hold on, I've got to have a think about it! No, don't wave my phone at me, that's not gonna help!

Oliver Reeder:
He's doing the blinky thing again.

Malcolm Tucker:
Right, if you're not gonna go on, I'm gonna get [points to Ollie] this giggling streak of piss to go on to Newsnight, I don't even f***ing care! Let it be his chinless, sulky little face that everyone sees for the whole of the next week!

Ben Swain:
Oh... F*** it, I'll do it!