The Thick of It2005

Malcolm Tucker:
[on the phone, talking about the "Silly Tucker" article] The story isn't me, Glenn, ok? Nobody is interested in me and I'll be pleased if you would remember that, ok?

Glenn Cullen:
You sure you don't want me and Hugh to come back, we could give you some cover?

Malcolm Tucker:
Hugh is not coming back, it will look like we're panicking and we're not panicking, but I need you back here f***ing ASAP to let them know that we're not panicking!

Glenn Cullen:
So you want me to interrupt my holiday in a panic so Hugh doesn't have to interrupt his holiday and look like he's panicking?

Malcolm Tucker:
You get back here! I wanna see you popping a bollock for me! [hangs up. Jamie comes into the office with the article]

Jamie:
You seen this?

Malcolm Tucker:
No, I haven't seen that. I'm the senior press guy for the government of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. No, I don't look at the newspapers, that's f***ing news to me!

Jamie:
Allright, allright, what are we doing?

Malcolm Tucker:
What are we doing? F*** all, we're not doing nothing, because I am not the story here!

Jamie:
You kind of are the story, Malcolm. They spelled your name right and everything.

Malcolm Tucker:
Look, I'm not doing nothing. Not drawing attention to it!

Jamie:
I'm not drawing attention to it.

Malcolm Tucker:
You're drawing MY attention to it! [Jamie looks at the article] Stop looking at it!

Jamie:
Allright, allright, we'll stay frozen to the f***ing phone, we'll send the media to Coventry, that will help.

Malcolm Tucker:
That WILL help, that is the way I wanna play it, ok? I'm going for a walk.

Jamie:
A walk?

Malcolm Tucker:
Yeah, what, I don't need your f***ing permission to go for a walk!

Jamie:
No,no.

Malcolm Tucker:
I can go for a walk?

Jamie:
Yeah, I just never seen you going for a walk before.

Malcolm Tucker:
How do you think I get in here in the morning? How do I get from the front door to here, I f***ing walk, don't I?

Jamie:
Yeah, but you don't go FOR a walk.

Malcolm Tucker:
I'm away for a walk!