The Venture Bros.2003

Action Johnny:
My dad's lab was like a pharmacological candy store, so I started real young. Next thing I know, I'm blowing lines of voodoo powder off the back of a monkey's paw I bought in Calcutta. Now I'm all out of wishes.

Dr. Venture:
I wasn't even allowed to wear long pants until I left for college. Is it any wonder I didn't lose my virginity until I was over 20?

Lance Hale:
So dumbass here is so freaked out by the mess, he forgets twenty years of detective training and actually picks up the shotgun with his bare hands. Well, I just instinctively reached out to stop him, of course. And so... that's how both our sets of prints ended up on the murder weapon.

Ro-Boy:
I tried to be good, I just couldn't help myself sometimes. When I see a giant robot I just get so mad, I wanna beat them up! And then I wanna burn them! Sometimes I wanna burn the whole world!

Wonderboy:
I mean, I can't even get an erection now unless I'm tied to a chair with a time bomb taped to my chest.