Two and a Half Men2003

Alan Harper:
I've got you a little present. Your very own cell phone.

Jake Harper:
Oh, cool!

Alan Harper:
Now, the important thing to remember is that this is not a toy. It's to use in emergencies only.

Jake Harper:
Emergencies? What emergencies?

Charlie Harper:
[Pretending to use a cell phone] Dad, come get me! I'm stuffed in my locker and my underwear is wet!

Alan Harper:
That only happened once.

Charlie Harper:
If that drug-sniffing dog hadn't found you, you'd have missed Thanksgiving.