Weeds2005

Andy Botwin:
It is a shockingly common occurrence in my life that women are gifted unto me, seemingly, with very little effort on my part and at a certain point after the ludicrous bounty, you have to finally wonder why? Is it because I'm so just baseline physically attractive? Debatable. More likely it's cause of this-karma. I motherf***in' earned it. I was the fecal molecule of a maggot 50 lives ago, 49 lives ago a parasite on a sea cucumber, worked my way up from there paying my reincarnitory dues-coral, an ear wig, a sewer rat, a grackle, Ginny foul, clown fish, ocelot, eventually vaulting up the evolutionary chain to dog, but like a shitty small dog, failed immediately by PARVO or K-9 SIDS, monkey, monkey down to otter, monkey chimp AND then finally human, BUUUUT, oops F***, I'm a child sex slave and I live in a whale. But, in all these incarnations, I was good and kind and humble and accepted my fate patiently. So, thus, after an endless series of short, oft, brutal lives... I was finally, finally, FINALLY born as me... Andrew Botwin-effortless receiver of tail. It's just a theory, of course, but if it's not biology and it's not karma then there is a puppet master out there who enjoys watching me get my freak on-and that would mean God basically-and I would have to rethink, well, everything.