Will & Grace1998

Jack McFarland:
Oh hey, lady la-la. What are you doing in here?

Karen Walker:
Oh, Stan's been socking down the herbal Viagra again, and this is the only room in the house he doesn't know about. Shh. Don't tell him.

Jack McFarland:
Karen, guess what. Tonight I met the One. The man I wanna spend the rest of my life with.

Karen Walker:
Hey! There is only one man in your life. And her name is Rosario, and don't you forget that.

Jack McFarland:
His name is Bill. Look. [Takes out a piece of paper] And he gave me a picture of himself. [Gives Karen the flyer] Isn't that a great idea? I'm gonna start passing out pictures of myself to people I meet at clubs.

Karen Walker:
Did you even read this?

Jack McFarland:
Well, I read the picture. And it said, "Mommy, mommy, give me some of Jack." Ah!

Karen Walker:
He is the head of some group called "Welcome Back Home."

Jack McFarland:
Well, I'm sure it's a typo. He must mean, "Welcome back, Homo."

Karen Walker:
[reads from the flyer] "It's never too late to get back on the straight and narrow"? Honey, this is a cult! Yeah! Like the Moonies or the homeless. Yes. They're trying to make gay people straight! Good Lord! Don't they know what that'll do to the fall line?

Jack McFarland:
"We noticed your homosexuality. Make the choice to be straight. Gay is not the way"? Jennifer Jason Leigh, these people are freaks!

Karen Walker:
Yes. And it looks like your new sweetie has turned his back on homosexuals. And not in the good way. [Turns to look up at the cross hanging above Rosario's bed] No. Don't listen.

Jack McFarland:
Well, Bill is not straight. I mean, look at us, Kare. We're lovers. [Jack puts Bill's photo next to his face]

Karen Walker:
Lord. I wonder if Stan's exhausted himself on the body pillow yet.

Jack McFarland:
Wait! They're having a meeting tomorrow and we have to go. What this organization is advocating is morally wrong, and it is my responsibility to shine the mirror of truth upon them.

Karen Walker:
Honey...

Jack McFarland:
Okay, I just wanna make out with Bill.

Karen Walker:
Okay.

Jack McFarland:
He's so cute, isn't he?

Karen Walker:
I know, I know, honey, but it's a waste of time, all right? It's like exercise or reading to your kids. The man thinks he's straight.

Jack McFarland:
There are no straight men, only men who haven't met Jack.

Karen Walker:
Yeah, well you can count me out. If you think I'm gonna spend my Sunday morning with a bunch of self-loathing closet cases...

Jack McFarland:
You'll get to be a lesbian.

Karen Walker:
Wake me by 11:00.