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Jack McFarland: Oh hey, lady la-la. What are you doing in here?Karen Walker: Oh, Stan's been socking down the herbal Viagra again, and this is the only room in the house he doesn't know about. Shh. Don't tell him.Jack McFarland: Karen, guess what. Tonight I met the One. The man I wanna spend the rest of my life with.Karen Walker: Hey! There is only one man in your life. And her name is Rosario, and don't you forget that.Jack McFarland: His name is Bill. Look. [Takes out a piece of paper] And he gave me a picture of himself. [Gives Karen the flyer] Isn't that a great idea? I'm gonna start passing out pictures of myself to people I meet at clubs.Karen Walker: Did you even read this?Jack McFarland: Well, I read the picture. And it said, "Mommy, mommy, give me some of Jack." Ah!Karen Walker: He is the head of some group called "Welcome Back Home."Jack McFarland: Well, I'm sure it's a typo. He must mean, "Welcome back, Homo."Karen Walker: [reads from the flyer] "It's never too late to get back on the straight and narrow"? Honey, this is a cult! Yeah! Like the Moonies or the homeless. Yes. They're trying to make gay people straight! Good Lord! Don't they know what that'll do to the fall line?Jack McFarland: "We noticed your homosexuality. Make the choice to be straight. Gay is not the way"? Jennifer Jason Leigh, these people are freaks!Karen Walker: Yes. And it looks like your new sweetie has turned his back on homosexuals. And not in the good way. [Turns to look up at the cross hanging above Rosario's bed] No. Don't listen.Jack McFarland: Well, Bill is not straight. I mean, look at us, Kare. We're lovers. [Jack puts Bill's photo next to his face]Karen Walker: Lord. I wonder if Stan's exhausted himself on the body pillow yet.Jack McFarland: Wait! They're having a meeting tomorrow and we have to go. What this organization is advocating is morally wrong, and it is my responsibility to shine the mirror of truth upon them.Karen Walker: Honey...Jack McFarland: Okay, I just wanna make out with Bill.Karen Walker: Okay.Jack McFarland: He's so cute, isn't he?Karen Walker: I know, I know, honey, but it's a waste of time, all right? It's like exercise or reading to your kids. The man thinks he's straight.Jack McFarland: There are no straight men, only men who haven't met Jack.Karen Walker: Yeah, well you can count me out. If you think I'm gonna spend my Sunday morning with a bunch of self-loathing closet cases...Jack McFarland: You'll get to be a lesbian.Karen Walker: Wake me by 11:00.

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