Yes Minister1980

Bernard Woolley:
So what do we believe in?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
At this moment, Bernard, we believe in stopping the minister from informing the Prime Minister.

Bernard Woolley:
But why?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
Because once the Prime Minister knows, there will have to be an enquiry, like Watergate. The investigation of a trivial break-in led to one ghastly revelation after another and finally the downfall of a president. The golden rule is don't lift lids off cans of worms. Everything is connected to everything else. Who said that?

Bernard Woolley:
The Cabinet Secretary?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
Nearly right. Actually, it was Lenin.

Bernard Woolley:
How do you stop a Cabinet Minister talking to a Prime Minister?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
Interesting question. You tell me.

Bernard Woolley:
I don't know.

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
Work it out. You're supposed to be a high flier. Or are you really a low-flier supported by occasional gusts of wind?

Bernard Woolley:
Well, YOU can't stop the minister seeing the PM, can you?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
I can't.

Bernard Woolley:
Nor can the private office at No.10.

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
Correct.

Bernard Woolley:
It has to be someone high up in government.

Bernard Woolley:
Someone close to the PM. Someone who can frighten the minister... The Chief Whip?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
Excellent, you've learnt a lot. So, how do you crack the whip?

Bernard Woolley:
I'm sorry?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
How do you mobilise the Chief Whip?

Bernard Woolley:
The minister's asked me to phone the PM's private office for an appointment, so if you had a word with the Cabinet Secretary, and he had a word with the diary secretary, and they all had a word with the Whip's office, then when the minister arrived, the Whip could meet him and say the PM is busy and asked him to have a word with the minister instead.

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
Excellent, Bernard. You should have taken a degree in engineering! [Bernard picks up the phone] What are you doing?

Bernard Woolley:
I thought you wanted the Cabinet Secretary.

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
I do, indeed. Now, do you, as the minister's private secretary, feel obliged to tell the minister of this conversation?

Bernard Woolley:
What conversation?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
Well done, Bernard. You'll be a moral vacuum yet!