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Bernard Woolley: So what do we believe in?Sir Humphrey Appleby: At this moment, Bernard, we believe in stopping the minister from informing the Prime Minister.Bernard Woolley: But why?Sir Humphrey Appleby: Because once the Prime Minister knows, there will have to be an enquiry, like Watergate. The investigation of a trivial break-in led to one ghastly revelation after another and finally the downfall of a president. The golden rule is don't lift lids off cans of worms. Everything is connected to everything else. Who said that?Bernard Woolley: The Cabinet Secretary?Sir Humphrey Appleby: Nearly right. Actually, it was Lenin.Bernard Woolley: How do you stop a Cabinet Minister talking to a Prime Minister?Sir Humphrey Appleby: Interesting question. You tell me.Bernard Woolley: I don't know.Sir Humphrey Appleby: Work it out. You're supposed to be a high flier. Or are you really a low-flier supported by occasional gusts of wind?Bernard Woolley: Well, YOU can't stop the minister seeing the PM, can you?Sir Humphrey Appleby: I can't.Bernard Woolley: Nor can the private office at No.10.Sir Humphrey Appleby: Correct.Bernard Woolley: It has to be someone high up in government.Bernard Woolley: Someone close to the PM. Someone who can frighten the minister... The Chief Whip?Sir Humphrey Appleby: Excellent, you've learnt a lot. So, how do you crack the whip?Bernard Woolley: I'm sorry?Sir Humphrey Appleby: How do you mobilise the Chief Whip?Bernard Woolley: The minister's asked me to phone the PM's private office for an appointment, so if you had a word with the Cabinet Secretary, and he had a word with the diary secretary, and they all had a word with the Whip's office, then when the minister arrived, the Whip could meet him and say the PM is busy and asked him to have a word with the minister instead.Sir Humphrey Appleby: Excellent, Bernard. You should have taken a degree in engineering! [Bernard picks up the phone] What are you doing?Bernard Woolley: I thought you wanted the Cabinet Secretary.Sir Humphrey Appleby: I do, indeed. Now, do you, as the minister's private secretary, feel obliged to tell the minister of this conversation?Bernard Woolley: What conversation?Sir Humphrey Appleby: Well done, Bernard. You'll be a moral vacuum yet!

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