You Can't Do That on Television1979

Doug Ptolemy:
[at bedtime] Mom, will you stay with us just for awhile?

Valerie Prevort:
Whatever for?

Alasdair Gillis:
Oh, he's just a scardy-cat.

Doug Ptolemy:
I am not.

Alasdair Gillis:
He is, too. He thinks that a big, fat, ugly monster's gonna come and get him.

Valerie Prevort:
Dougie, I'm not gonna let you watch any more television. You've getting some very strange ideas. Now, don't be silly. Now, you're too big for this sort of thing. You should be brave.

Doug Ptolemy:
Please, Mom. I'm really scared.

Valerie Prevort:
[turning off the room lights and sitting beside Doug] Oh, well, all right. Just this once, but not for long, Dougie. You've got to realize there is no such thing as big, fat monsters.

[Lance bursts in - a large dark shape silhouetted by the hallway light]

Lance Prevort:
VALERIE!

Doug Ptolemy:
AAHHHHHHH!

Lance Prevort:
HAVE YOU SEEN MY CUMMERBUND?

Valerie Prevort:
AAHHHHHH!

[Valerie take refuse with Doug under the covers as Lance, left curious by their horror-stricken behavior, sniffs his armpits]