You Can't Do That on Television1979

Police Interrogator:
All right, kid. I was sent t' this town to clean it up and I intend t' do it.

Kevin Somers:
[tied to a chair] What's that got to do with me? You got nothin' on me, copper.

Police Interrogator:
Oh, yeah? Tell me another one, kid. What do you know about THIS?

Kevin Somers:
[looks at pie] Never seen it before in my life.

Police Interrogator:
Ha! This cream matches the cream that was found in your pocket. And another thing, whadda you know about this?

[spills bucket of slime into Kevin's lap]

Kevin Somers:
[squirming in chair] Hey! Hey, watch it! That stuff's dangerous! A guy could get hooked on THAT stuff!

Police Interrogator:
Yeah, but you don't mind sploshin' it t' little kids, do ya, huh?

[Sloshes more into Kevin's lap]

Police Interrogator:
Your type makes me sick! I was sent here to clean up this town, and I intend t' DO it!

Kevin Somers:
No.

[Pours water over Kevin then splats a pie onto to his head before rubbing filling into his face]

Police Interrogator:
[conversationally] Ya see, kid, as a plainclothesman it's my duty...