You Can't Do That on Television

     

You Can't Do That on Television1979

Genre: Comedy
You Can't Do That on Television is a Canadian sketch comedy television series that first aired locally in 1979 before airing in the United States in 1981. It featured preteen and teenage actors in a sketch comedy format similar to that of American s… more »


El Capitano:
Ready! Aim!

Alasdair Gillis:
[crying into hanky before the firing squad] Oh, please. Please shoot me and put me out of my misery. Life's just too hard. I can't go on.

El Capitano:
Wait a minute. You WANT to get shot? What is the matter with you?

Alasdair Gillis:
You see, I'm madly in love with this girl from school but she doesn't even know I exist and I... I can't stand it anymore.

El Capitano:
Ohh, you really got it bad, eh?

Alasdair Gillis:
Yes. I've tried everything. I sent her flowers, candy... I even wrote her a love poem.

El Capitano:
Love poem! Oh, we are talking serious. Ho-ho-ho.

Alasdair Gillis:
It IS serious. D'you wanna see it? I wrote it all over my arm.

El Capitano:
Sure, ha-ha. I'm good for a laugh. "You're the one I'm dreaming of. You're the one I desire. You're the one I really love. You set my heart on fire."

[on that last word, the amigos open fire, hitting the Capitano, who has, in reading Alasdair's arm, moved into a position between his squad and Alasdair]

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    "You Can't Do That on Television Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 9 Jan. 2025. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/957817>.

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