22 Jump Street2014

Captain Dickson:
Gentlemen, you're not gonna sit here [places pistol down on desk] & pretend there's not a big-ass elephant in the room.

Jenko:
[confused] What the f*** is going on?

Captain Dickson:
[turns picture frame on desk around, revealing a photo of Maya] *This* is what the f*** is going on!

Jenko:
[looks at the picture confused, looks at Schmidt, then back at the picture as he realizes] OH SH*T! Oh Sh*t! [laughs hysterically at Schmidt] Oh sh*t! No! That is not happening right now! [exits office] No! [to coworkers, exchanging high fives] Hey ya'll he's f***ing the captain's daughter! Yo! Oh my F***!

Captain Dickson:
[as Jenko is laughing outside office, to Schmidt] Every time, he says that sh*t? That's another foot in your ass!

Jenko:
[outside office] Schmidt! You clearly... yo, this is the best thing ever! [laughing] Schmidt f***ed the captain's daughter! [sing-song] Schmidt f***ed the captain's daughter! Schmidt f***ed the captain's daughter!

Jenko:
[re-enters office] Sh*t! F***! [to Schmidt] You f***ed Captain Dickson's daughter? Captain? What the f***, you bragged to him to his face! To his actual face, the captain, do you understand that *this face* [pointing to Captain Dickson's angry face] right here! You bragged to that face!

Jenko:
[to Captain Dickson] You actually high-fived Schmidt for f***ing your daughter? Holy Sh*t! Oh my God, this is...

Captain Dickson:
[picks pistol up and places it back on the desk, with the barrel facing Jenko]

Jenko:
[composing himself] It's really not that funny.