5th Annual End of the World Tour2007

Christopher Titus:
This is, verbatim, how I hear my father passed. I pick up the phone, the guy goes "Mr. Titus? Newark Police Department. Your dad's dead."

[murmurs from audience]

Christopher Titus:
Yeah, pretty harsh, huh? And I didn't believe it, and I know a lot of comedians, so I said...

[laughs]

Christopher Titus:
"Okay, f***er, who is this?"

[laughter]

Christopher Titus:
"Sir, it's the Newark Police Department, your dad's dead, don't call me 'f***er'."

[laughter]

Christopher Titus:
And although we had been expecting it for a long time, you are never ready for this to happen. And my brain just snapped, and I went into denial, and I said...

[pause]

Christopher Titus:
"Poke him."

[laughter]

Christopher Titus:
And there's this really long pause. And the cop says "Excuse me?" And I said, "Poke him, he could be dicking with you."

[laughter]

Christopher Titus:
And then I said something that was so wrong, and I did not mean it the way it sounded. I said "is the Viper okay?"

[laughter]

Christopher Titus:
'Cause I thought I had given him the death car. I thought he'd flown it off a cliff, I thought he'd wrapped it around a tree, I thought it was my fault. But the cop didn't hear that part of it, 'cause he goes "Sir, the car is fine. Again, it's your dad that's dead. Shall I poke the car, sir?"

[laughter]