A Very Special Favor1965

Michel Boullard:
Mr Chadwick, many years ago in my youth, wanting to taste all of life's pleasures, I did a very foolhardy thing... I bit into a marriage licence

Paul Chadwick:
A lot of good men have choked on that

Michel Boullard:
[having coffee poured into his cup] Thank you. She was an American. Oh, it was an ideal marriage - until we left the wedding chapel

Paul Chadwick:
That's as much happiness as any man has the right to expect

Michel Boullard:
It was raining. Her gown got wet. And somehow she made me feel that I had failed in my first act as a husband; I had permitted the rain to fall

Paul Chadwick:
She lost confidence. If you couldn't stop the rain, what would you do if an earthquake came?

Michel Boullard:
I continued to fail her when she needed me most. Where was I when the pilot light went out on the stove? When her car ran out of gas? And what was I doing at the office, the day the plumbing got clogged?

Paul Chadwick:
An American husband would never be at the office when the plumbing got clogged - he'd rush home to share it with his wife

Michel Boullard:
Then, one evening, we were sitting there enjoying a delightful dinner, when suddenly, my wife spoiled everything...

Paul Chadwick:
...She showed up

Michel Boullard:
How did you know I was with another woman?

Paul Chadwick:
You said you were enjoying dinner, didn't you?

Michel Boullard:
Oh, it was a harmless flirtation. I tried to explain to my wife. But all she could do was stand there - and say, 'Well'! It would not have helped to have dropped a thousand apologies into that well

Paul Chadwick:
A wife's well is bottomless

Michel Boullard:
Now with a French wife, when I got home I would have found her in tears - and a new negligee. But with my wife, when I knocked on the bedroom door...

Paul Chadwick:
...you found her with her lawyer...

Michel Boullard:
...and a travel agent

Michel Boullard:
The next morning, she and the child were on a plane back to America. Fini!