Tommy Boy

Tommy Boy1995

Director: Peter Segal
Stars: Chris Farley, David Spade, Brian Dennehy, Bo Derek, Dan Aykroyd
Genre: Comedy
Rating: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Runtime: 97 minutes

Before his death, comedian Chris Farley made a pair of surprisingly successful comedies that teamed him with Saturday Night Live colleague David Spade. Their relationship in each film was pretty much the same, but then so was Abbott and Costello's o… more »



Tommy:
Let's think about this for a sec, Ted, why do they put a guarantee on a box? Hmm, very interesting.

Ted:
I'm listening.

Tommy:
Here's how I see it. A guy puts a guarantee on the box 'cause he wants you to fell all warm and toasty inside.

Ted:
Yeah, makes a man feel good.

Tommy:
'Course it does. Ya think if you leave that box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter.

Ted:
What's your point?

Tommy:
The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy, but we're not buying it. Next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up, I seen it a hundred times.

Ted:
But why do they put a guarantee on the box then?

Tommy:
Because they know all they solda ya was a guaranteed piece of sh*t. That's all it is. Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for right now, for your sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality item from me.

Ted:
Hmm. Okay, I'll buy from you.

Tommy:
Well I... What?

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    "Tommy Boy Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Nov. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/97734>.

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