Bill Engvall: Here's Your Sign Live2004

[having "the talk" about sex with his son]

Bill Engvall:
We were having our little talk, I said "son, when you finally meet this girl, whoever she is, and you fall in love, and you think you might do it." I go, "you gotta swear to me, right now, that you will always use a condom." I said "it prevents diseases, it prevents unwanted pregnancies", and he's kind of looking at me funny, and I said "you know what a condom is, right?" And he goes

Bill Engvall:
[scoff] "Yeah."

Bill Engvall:
I go, "all right." I go "why don't you tell me? So I know you know." And go he goes "dad!" I go "come on." And he goes "a condom... is a rubber thing shaped like a weiner that hums."

[laughter]

Bill Engvall:
[trying not to laugh] You've been in mama's sock drawer, haven't you?

[laughter]

Bill Engvall:
Oh, my wife loves that joke. She goes "why do you do that joke? You know I don't have one of those." I go "I know that... just figured if you kept hearing it..."

[laughter]