Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road2006

Bill Engvall:
Ever set your hair on fire? [Raises hand] Me too! And not the hair on my head. [Audience laughs, assuming it's the hair in a more "personal" area] Oh, shall we not go to the gutter so quickly? It was the hair on my arms. I want you to think back to when you were a kid. Remember the day you learned you could burn ants with a magnifying glass? Oh, what a great day that was! You got to be God. You decided who lived, who died. I must've burned ants for an hour, just laughing. Then I saw one on my arm. [Mimes holding a magnifying glass over his arm] Let me tell you something, when you burn yourself with a magnifying glass, you're on your own. You can't even tell your mom, because she gives that face, "Oh, he IS that stupid."