Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road2006

[taking his wife deer hunting]

Jeff Foxworthy:
She would not shut up the entire time. We're walking through the woods, and she's like "It is so dirty out here. I cannot believe leaves and sticks are everywhere. Can you believe how dirty it is? Nobody ever cleans this up? Oh, God, look at that. I got mud on my new boots. Oh, I hope that comes out. I love these little boots. You know, they were originally a hundred and twenty nine dollars, but I got them for fifty-nine ninety-five. You wanna know why? They're last year's boots. I don't think anybody will know, do you? Oh, God, there's a bug on my pants! Get him off, get him off, get him off! Well, don't kill him, he's just a little bug! He's probably looking for his bug family! Here, hold my binoculars, 'cause I gotta straighten my hat up. Are my bangs even? Are they really even, or are you just saying that? Are they even? Does this coat make me look too fat? I don't like this coat. I liked it when I first put it on, but now I think it makes my hips look fat. Don't you think so? Where are all the deer? You said there were going to be deer out here, I don't see one single deer. Is this gonna take a long time? How... how come you're putting your gun in your mouth?"

[laughter]