Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road2006

Jeff Foxworthy:
This woman came up to me at the book signing. She had the biggest butt I have ever seen in my life. And you've seen these kind of people. They're like, from the waist up, they're built kind of normally. And then from the waist down, it's like an explosion took place.

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
You know, just huge. I mean, from a distance, she looked like a poodle riding a Hippety-Hop. I mean, like...

[pantomimes, to raucous laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
And there's no telling how big her butt really was, 'cause she had it *packed* in these jeans. I mean, it was crammed in there. I could hear the zipper crying.

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
You got the feeling that some night, some guy was going to get her home, get that top button unbuttoned, and that thing was going to come flying out of there like a Navy life raft. You know...

[pantomimes again]

Jeff Foxworthy:
But the thing that was intriguing about it was she had this attitude like she was the hottest thing on the planet. And I love big girls that think they're sexy. 'Cause I think guys look at them kind of like we do those rodeo bulls. You know, we're like "I bet I could ride it. But I'd probably get hurt."

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
So anyway, I signed her books for her, and when she went to walk away, she wasn't just walking, she was strutting. I mean, you know, like popping it. And I'm watching her 'cause I'm scared she's going to knock over some little kids or something.

[laughter]

Jeff Foxworthy:
And my brother leaned over and tapped me on the arm, and he said "That looks like two blue Volkswagens trying to pass each other on a gravel road."

[laughter]