Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road2006

Jeff Foxworthy:
This guy's mother-in-law comes to live with them, and she's been living there for about a week, and he comes home one day and she's laying on the floor, and he calls 911 and the ambulance comes and gets her and they take her to the hospital. And he's out in the waiting room, and the doctor comes out after a while, and the doctor said "Well, I've got some good news and some bad news." The guy said "Well, all right, give me the bad news first." He goes "All right. Your mother-in-law is not gonna die." He said "She's had a massive stroke." He said "In fact, she's probably gonna live twenty or thirty more years." He said "The... the problem is this thing has rendered her unable to speak." He said "She just makes this horrible screeching noise like a parrot now." He said "It's also disabled her from using her arms, and she can't feed herself." He said "For the next twenty or thirty years, you're gonna have to feed her baby food three times a day." He said "Also, it's made her incontinent. You're gonna have to change her diapers and clean her up every single day of your life." The guy said "Oh, my god." He said "What's the good news?", and the doctor just goes "I'm just kidding with you. She died."