Destroy All Humans! 22006

[first lines]

Ivan Oranchov:
Premier comrade Milenkov, comrade agents, thank you for coming. Here's what we know so far.

[a slide show displaying the first game's events and its aftermath is shown]

Ivan Oranchov:
Ten years ago, the United States government covered up an invasion by an alien race known as Furons. Their primary agent was this Furon: Cryptosporidium-137, dangerous, unpredictable and now deceased.

Milenkov:
So? What is being problem?

Ivan Oranchov:
The problem, comrade, is that Furons can clone themselves and pose convincingly as humans, and they've used these abilities to put Cryptosporidium-138 into the White House!

KGB Agent:
[gasps] The American people are not noticing?

[all laugh]

Ivan Oranchov:
Da, right. Pull the other one. Even worse, this new Crypto clone contains pure Furon DNA harvested from human brains by Orthopox-13, mastermind of the invasion. He also bears a mysterious new mutation referred to only as "the package".

Milenkov, KGB Agent:
Oooh!

Ivan Oranchov:
These aliens pose a dire threat to the Soviet Union, comrades, and so they must be destroyed! As we speak, President Crypto is in Bay City, attending a youth cultural fest, and Orthopox conducting experiments in the Furon mother ship.