Destroy All Humans! 22006

Orthopox-13:
I'm picking up a signal in the ocean to the south.

Crypto:
Yeah? What kind of signal?

Orthopox-13:
A radiation signature, emanating in gamma waves from the creature's tortured brain.

Crypto:
Tortured?

Orthopox-13:
Yes. It's as if the monster is crying out, "Kill me! Kill me!"

Crypto:
That's gotta be the most pathetic thing I ever heard. So, you want me to hunt down this monstrosity and put it out of its misery?

Orthopox-13:
Actually, I want you to read its mind and enter it the source of its cognitive distress, so we can get it some help and over time teach it confidence and self-esteem.

Crypto:
You've gotta be kidding me.

Orthopox-13:
[shouting] Of course I am, you mutation! Now go kill that thing!

Crypto:
Okay, okay, but how do I find it?

Orthopox-13:
Do I have to... You get in your saucer and fly to the spot marked on your radar. Look for bubbles on the water. That's a pretty good sign there's a MONSTER!

Crypto:
So, then, what? I just drop some fat boys into the water and blow it up?

Orthopox-13:
Unfortunately, no. Your saucer's weapons are ineffective underwater. You'll have to figure out some way to get the beast to surface first.

Crypto:
And then I play a little whack-a-lizard. Got it.