Die, Mommie, Die!2003

Lance Sussman:
[Lance, unexpectedly home from college, has hidden behind the stairs and jumps up and scares Angela] Arrrrh!

Angela Arden:
Lance! You scared the bejesus out of me!

Lance Sussman:
[Chuckling] Kiss me, you beautiful creature.

Lance Sussman:
[Upon kissing Lance on the lips] Do I smell pot?

Lance Sussman:
Gee, mom, you got me on that one.

Angela Arden:
Listen, baby, I'm not one of your friends' square old ladies. I toured with a band. I'm quite familiar with reefer, and fully acquainted with its dangers.

Lance Sussman:
You're the coolest mom ever!

Angela Arden:
What are you doing home from school?

Lance Sussman:
The anti-war demonstration... yeah! Students took over the president's office, they sent the rest of us kids home.

Angela Arden:
[Somewhat skeptical] Oh, really?

Lance Sussman:
My friend Ruth... gave the associate dean a saltwater enema.

Angela Arden:
I need a drink.

Angela Arden:
[Pouring drinks] Scotch for me, Pepsi for you.

Lance Sussman:
Mom!

Angela Arden:
Oh, I suppose a "splash" of bourbon won't kill ya'!