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Alien: You have been chosen out of the countless millions that inhabit this speck of dirt to be the bearer of a binding command.Rabbie Burns: Ah, tell me about it.Alien: You will inform the leaders of your planet of our ultimate decree.Rabbie Burns: Can this not wait 'til tomorrow, I've got an important date.Alien: For decades we have we have watched your feeble experiments in steam locomotion, combustion engine, 3D animation, and nuclear power, but we have not interfered.Rabbie Burns: What about all those alien abductions, snatching people for their bed and shoving things up their ass? The corn circles...

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