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Jakob 'Picaro Gonnoff' Baumberger: So this fella's out ridin' his horse when he comes across this sidewinder curled up on the side of the road...Lucas 'Tope' Mullins: [rolling a cigarette] Snake?Jakob 'Picaro Gonnoff' Baumberger: Yeah. A rattlesnake.Lucas 'Tope' Mullins: I know what it is.Jakob 'Picaro Gonnoff' Baumberger: Well goddammit, you asked, let me tell it.Lucas 'Tope' Mullins: [lights his smoke] Tell it, then.Jakob 'Picaro Gonnoff' Baumberger: Alright, then. So the fella pulls his pistol to shoot this snake when the snake rears up and says "Now hold on, amigo. I'm a magic snake. You leather that bean-shooter and let me go, I'll grant you three wishes."Lucas 'Tope' Mullins: The snake says this?Jakob 'Picaro Gonnoff' Baumberger: Goddammit, yes! Will you pay f***in' attention?Lucas 'Tope' Mullins: Well... it's just that I never heard of no snake grantin' wishes before, is all.Jakob 'Picaro Gonnoff' Baumberger: You ever heard a snake talk at all?Lucas 'Tope' Mullins: Alright, just tell it.Jakob 'Picaro Gonnoff' Baumberger: Alright, then. So this fella says, "Well, OK. I ain't never had no luck baitin' ladies. I reckon I'd close the deal a lot swifter if I was to have the good looks of one of them high steppin' stage actors, the muscles of a prizefighter, and well, the dick of this here horse I'm riding...Lucas 'Tope' Mullins: [blows smoke] He was ridin' a mare.Jakob 'Picaro Gonnoff' Baumberger: [looks at Tope, disbelieving] . Y'know... just when I get to hatin' you a little less in my mind... my foot starts to hurt [indicates the foot Tope shot him in] .

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    Quiz

    Are you a quotes master?

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    Who said, “Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances that we know to be desperate.”
    A C.S. Lewis
    B G.K. Chesterton
    C Desmond Tutu
    D Christopher Reeve