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Bridget: I can be both. I-I mean I can be. I can be the unreliable douche-schnozzle who grabs her ass in public and wears work boots, but I can be also be the one who holds doors for her, and tucks her in at night, and-and buys her f***ing gerber daisies for no goddamn reason!Chloe: I know you can.Bridget: I'm gonna go kick his ass right now.Chloe: N-n-n-no, no, no, no. Come on Bridge.Bridget: I'm done with this!Chloe: Don't say that.Bridget: I just did. Did she go home with him?Chloe: I don't know.Bridget: F***!Chloe: I don't think so.Bridget: You f***ing straight girls! You're all just a bunch of closet cases. Maybe we should all just date guys! Maybe I should I have a f***ing boyfriend! My heart, is like on the floor right now. I wish a car would just come and hit me!Chloe: You want me to hail a cab?Bridget: No, I'm talkin' bus.

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